Rock of Ages (Day 8)

Greetings, friends! Yesterday we took on a recent Broadway rock musical flop, "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson." Today, we're looking at "Rock of Ages," a Broadway musical so successful that, rather than close after a respectable run, it moved to a slightly smaller theatre and resumed its successful business.

"Rock of Ages" is both a goofy jukebox musical and a parody of goofy jukebox musicals. Led by our high-energy, sexually ambiguous narrator Lonny The Sound Man (Mitchell Jarvis), the story is the somewhat predictable boy-meets-girl saga of Drew Bowie(Constantine Maroulis) and Sherrie Christian (Amy Spanger), a young rocker and a waitress who meet at the hottest rock club on the Sunset Strip in the late 1980s. The play's subplot concerns Dennis (Adam Dannheisser), the club's owner, who allies with a neo-hippie protester, Regina (Lauren Molina) to battle against the German businessman (Paul Schoeffler) and his effeminate- but not homosexual, just European- son Franz (Wesley Taylor), who want to tear down the club and gentrify Los Angeles.

If there's not much to that story, that's intentional- as Lonny points out again and again, that's just the way jukeboxes work. To drive the point home, at one point, he solves a problem by bringing out a "Musical Writing for Dummies" book to find how to resolve a plot point. Jarvis, most famous for playing Keystone Light spokesman Keith Stone, turns in a dynamite performance, clearly channeling Jack Black, who the part was allegedly written for. His peculiar sexual ambivalence leads to some of the evening's finest moments, especially the "are they or aren't they" duet of "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon that Lonny sings with his (heterosexual?) life partner, Dennis. Naturally, much praise must go to Constantine as well- the show is anchored around his dynamic voice, even if his acting is a little understated. As love interest Sherrie, Amy Spanger is funny and displays a great voice, which is almost sad in a way, considering that the show caused her vocal deterioration I previously mentioned in my post on "Elf."

I assume I don't have to say much about the music, which is great if you loved classic rock or the Eighties, but bad if you don't like either of the above. Special props to the remarkably faithful orchestrations and the house band of actual hair-metal band veterans, who keep the score from sounding like a "Broadway version" of the hard rockin' songs they cover. For a good time at the theater, or a trip down memory lane, don't call 867-5309, just check out Rock of Ages, which, as Bret Michaels once said, pre-Apprentice, "ain't nothing but a good time."

Rock of Ages: A

LESSON FOR ACTORS: Don't be afraid to change your image! Alec Baldwin and Tom Cruise are Hollywood A-listers, but are soon to appear in a major motion picture- singing, no less- along the likes of Mary J. Blige and Russell Brand.

WARNING FOR ACTORS: Don't assume that just because you played or originated a part, you OWN it. Constantine Maroulis has shown exemplary dedication to the role of Drew on Broadway, Off-Broadway, and all over the country, but was not cast in the upcoming film. Despite this, he continues to play the role onstage.

LESSON FOR WRITERS: Never take yourself too seriously. If "Rock of Ages" had tried to be a straight-up musical like "Mamma Mia" that just uses jukebox songs, chances are it would have been simply more of the same. By parodying the jukebox-musical genre, it gained a freshness and satiric bite that it would have otherwise lacked.

WARNING FOR WRITERS: Never assume that your audience will ALWAYS get the joke. When your tongue is too far into cheek, be careful- despite its clearly parodic nature, "Rock of Ages" HAS been accused of homophobia, racism and objectification of women. Okay, MAYBE they got it right on that last one, but in what other musical can you see an all-singing, all-dancing, all stripping hot female chorus? In my opinion, it may not be high art, but that's a real Broadway throwback!